The Nobody — Poem

THE NOBODY

.
Back to when I was somebody
When people knew my name
And people talked to me
Even the slightest “hi”
Answering the recognized eye

Back to when there were smiles
The sincerest and purest ones
Laughters or tears
Always near

Back to when everything seemed wrong
Though the unknown was merely an intuition
Prefiguring a forthcoming squall
Longing for the heartache to be erased
For the worst to be passed

But fall came back again, taking with him
The hopes and the giggling
Of a soul slowly burning
There came unease and fear
University was here.

A soul lingeringly vanishing
In the crowds and the hallways
Hiding and running away
For there was shame and there was fear

Now remembering the days
The good old days which were then bosky
When everything seemed to occur too early

Imploring the sun to arise again
For the memories would come alive again
An ounce of hope in a hazy heart
To relive it again
Erase the regrets
To start it all over again.

To the few mindful conversations
The quiet hours spent in the background
The laughters and smiles which were all around
Being a part of it at times
Or as the observer otherwise

Reading the signs
On these human bodies
And expecting somebody to find
The bullet in my heart and the stories
That continued to gnaw at me
And save me from agony.

Hoping to come back
To being somebody
Encountering past mere acquaintances
Coming upon the ones with whom you shared a smile
Those who made you giggle and who lit up your day
Those, you wanted them to stay
For they never knew of the cheer they gave you.

Long enough I have been
A nobody feeling grim
A ghost meandering around
Playing the clown

.
I am done being a nobody.

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