Blogging crisis or existential crisis?

tumblr_static_dn96ryf4fd440gg04soow0g0

What if I were blogging for all the wrong reasons?

As painful as it is to admit, here is the truth: I crave for attention on social media.

I have let myself believe that owning a blog was a way for me to share my work. In fact, writing has been one of my dearest habits for a long time, therefore sharing my pieces with other people on the web has made me evolve even more as a person and as a ‘writer’. Besides, anyone willing to make a breakthrough in journalism has been provided with the same (not so old) piece of advice: ‘Start a blog!’. ‘Find your voice’ they say, ‘It will give you exposure and recognition’.

Genuine millennial and budding journalist, I embarked on this new path, believing it to be a natural move. A few posts and some followers later, here I am.

Stuck in a blogging rut for weeks, I have been thinking of a hundred different subjects to write about and yet I have nothing to say about any of them. I have nothing to say at all. So I take some rest and try not to think about anything, leave my mind alone and inspiration will come as it always does, which is to say when the button named ‘Blogging Ideas’ in my mind is off. And days have passed, and still nothing comes to my mind. There’s always those petty ideas, but no, there is nothing I genuinely want to write about. Coming to a dead end, I have started wondering what were the purposes of my sharing of my latest blog posts.

Actually, I have observed that it’s been pretty much a year ever since I’ve stopped writing on a daily basis about issues that mattered to me in a way that would lingeringly make me climb up the stairs toward a career in journalism. I have shared, ever since, deeply personal pieces of mine. But, what were the reasons of this shift?

blogging-quote

In the first place, it was definitely a relief for me to write about such things. Writing down what is worrying and terrifying certainly clears the head. Moreover, sharing it with people who could relate at some point was somehow an utter comfort. And the more I kept on writing, the more I ended up posting it online.

The whole situation evolved when, scrolling through social networks, I found myself craving for a topic to write about. I was literally obsessed with the idea of publishing a blog post at this point. I could have written a thousand words about my ongoing day or my ever-lasting questioning but I did not actually need to write, I merely needed to post something, anything, online. I wanted people to read ‘a piece of mine’. I wanted my words to be read. I wanted my voice to be heard. I was desperately seeking attention.

.
Social media has added an all new perspective to loneliness. We crave for likes and retweets, hoping that people will show kindness through a click, as if acts of genuine kindness were reduced to this. We wish for people we know to be more present online than in real life, if they’re not fully part of our life, or at least not as much as we’d like. We dream of virtual love, virtual friends if we can’t get the real ones. We aspire to virtual recognition and success (i.e. likes and comments) because we can’t have it in real life.

So is it just a blogging crisis? Isn’t it an existential crisis?

Perhaps, this blog’s turning point was when I stopped thinking in terms of will and started considering it solely as a way to be seen, to be heard, and to be recognized. Perhaps the ‘I’ questions appeared to be too prominent on this platform, after all isn’t this long post too self-absorbed? Hasn’t it all become an unwholesome doing, a giant mess?

 

signature

9 thoughts on “Blogging crisis or existential crisis?

  1. First off, thank you for this piece. I love things that make me look inside to ask myself “why”. And I love things where the author asks themselves the same question. I’m going to be writing something on this topic myself.

    I’d also like to say that I don’t feel there is anything wrong with wanting attention, or with seeking it though a blog. Every single person who creates on wants that same attention on some level. Otherwise, blogs would never be published. They’d be files on our hard drives.

    There’s a danger in that as well though. When you stop writing what you feel and start writing what you think your follower want to read, writing stops being a passion and becomes a responsibility. It becomes something you have to do, not want to. A formula develops and sincerity is lost. I know I’ve closed out blogs with hundreds/thousands of followers because I felt I had become a character and performer, as opposed to someone ranting online about whatever pissed in my Cheerios that particular day.

  2. You know, I do feel the same. Every single day as I feel my mind in a dark corner with no light. Then suddenly a spark flashes in front of my mind and I see myself in light, full of all colors.
    You’re right about times when we crave for more views, likes and comments. And because of this I suppose, we run out of what to show the world today.

  3. I guess each of us needs to ask ourselves… What are we blogging for? Certainly, to a great extent it’s a self satisfaction that leads to blogging. If your efforts help others or you find like minded people it’s great!

  4. I love this one. I’m not kidding, I have nearly 30 drafts just waiting to be edited and posted simply because I felt, at 30 different times recently, the need to just post something on my damn site because yes, I was craving attention.
    I’ve written a draft about writer’s block and my weird need to just put something up!
    Thanks so much for this great read, it’s so relatable! 🙂

  5. Such a great and necessary post! I myself have dealt with trying to understand my motivations for blogging. I like that you share your personal experience with this, and that you come to a conclusion.You honestly point out that you were desperately seeking attention. Your words really hit me, and it is something for me to keep in mind as I blog. I look forward to reading more of your work!

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s