‘Do you love yourself?’

‘Do you love yourself?’Do you loveyourself?

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Although its importance seems to have faded, this is a significant question. Now try and respond to it without having second thoughts.

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If your answer is ‘yes’, people may link it to words such as ‘vanity’, ‘narcissism’ or ‘egomania’. However, if your answer tends to be more negative (followed by words like ‘except for’, ‘but’…) people most-likely won’t bother thinking of your level of self-esteem or confidence, believing it to be a standard.

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Nowadays, a stigma is held on self-love. People are fooled into thinking that loving themselves is a harmful trait. But self-love is not about being self-absorbed or self-centered. In fact, as the 12th Edition of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary states:

Self-love [is] regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

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If you looked at the issue from this perspective would you still draw a connection with the deprecatory words listed above?

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After all, taking care of oneself is everything but a selfish act. Indeed, self-love intrinsically involves acceptance of both positive features and those which tend to be perceived as negative. Moreover, it goes without saying that flaws and mistakes are part of our identity and should not be denied or omitted. Shortcomings, along with the characteristics we see as appealing, should thus be accepted. And ‘to accept’, as the Concise Oxford English Dictionary notes, means to ‘believe to be valid (or correct)’. Subsequently, in that definition lies the plain meaning of self-love.

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In one of her blog posts, owner of the website Positively Present Dani DiPirro considers five reasons why self-love is not selfish. These include the notions of respect, caring, confidence and positivity. The author emphasizes that one of the biggest impacts of self-love is positivity indubitably leading to inner happiness.

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Caira Lee, 21-year-old poet, discusses the subject of the importance of self-love in her 2015 Ted Talk. After eloquently reminding us that ‘when you are not loving yourself, you are failing at life’, the young woman urges us to find the skills that will make us feel ‘cool, productive, important, challenged’ and to exclude the negative assertions we tell ourselves in our head. Lee encourages us to surround ourselves with positivity, beginning with bright quotes pinned on our walls. She concludes by telling us to ‘give self-love to others’, the most important as well as the hardest part of the process. 

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Author and speaker Gala Darling initiated a project called ‘Radical Self-Love’ in 2010 after noticing many women with low self-confidence complaining about not having a partner on Valentine’s Day. Thousands of women joined the movement, and in 2012 she gave a Ted Talk explaining how it all begun and how it worked. Along with sharing some awe-inspiring quotes on self-love, Darling makes a list of the techniques she has used in order to put an end to her ‘radical self-loathing’ teenage years and ‘[fall] in love with [herself]’. She concludes her speech by reading the following Radical Self Love Manifesto written by herself a few years ago:

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Let’s pause for a second now. Can you answer this question again: do you love yourself?

And if your response is negative, will you pledge to change it?

 

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10 thoughts on “‘Do you love yourself?’

  1. I do love myself. I think it is so important to love who you are. Self love is such an important thing and there are so many different components of it. I believe you have to love and look after yourself before you can help another person.

    Sarah’s Abode -xx

  2. I have to answer no, if I’m being honest. I don’t love myself. I take care myself (exercise, eat as well as I can). I trust myself. I respect myself. I do nice things for myself like buy the occasional doughnut (even though I supposedly quit them) and enjoy a good pizza when I feel like I can afford it.

    But do I love myself? No.

    Off the top of my head, here’s why: I don’t feel loved or even very much respected by anyone. So of course there’s that constant question in my head of, “If no one else can love me, then how can I give myself something so special, knowing that perhaps I’m not worthy of such an honor at the moment (maybe in the future, but not right now)?”

    So while I don’t hate myself, I don’t love myself either. I guess I’m indifferent towards myself. I think it would take someone loving me for me to recognize that I can be loved, that there’s something about me worthy of such a magnificent emotion.

      1. No need to feel sorry for me. Where I am at this moment is simply where I am at this moment. If it changes, it changes. If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. I don’t worry about things I can’t control. 🙂

        Thank you for your kindness, though. It’s appreciated. 🙂

  3. I’m always trying to improve my self-love and be kinder to myself! This was a great reminder to strive for answering “yes” to that important question. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

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