Let me tell you the story of a girl who meandered wearing all happy faces and smiles. Over the years, she learnt to hold her tongue, rarely speaking out. She enjoyed listening to music and savored unveiling imaginary worlds through literature. Early, she matured with books, until she discovered another world. This other dimension was a place where she would have numerous encounters without fearing to be seen. She could be her true self, entrapping passions and ambitions in her lonely heart. She bonded with significant people endowed with same interest and same mystery. She forgot about the real world in the blink of an eye. She kept going out smiling and laughing. She believed she was thriving. It came to an end when she realized that she was missing out on time, on life.
Smiles were getting faker and misfortunes gathered. When she was at school, people were encircling and yet she knew she was all alone. Classmates were barely speaking to her and she soon felt out of place. As the crowd was bewildering, the last ringing bell was long-awaited. Her only wish was to sleep tight at night. At home, a smattering of reasons to smile remained. Up to a certain point, things went south. She did not know where to feel safe again, having no one to confide in. She was consumed by her own self. She was striving for change and remedy. She attempted to seize a few opportunities but with no one behind her back she was feeling uneasy. She still was standing up, trying not to look down, forging herself a positivity that would not leave her in the darkest times. She was holding on to hope, following the path of the ones she admired.
Less oxygen. Emerging emptiness. Expanded scars. There would be even more sleepless nights.
Yet, someday she realized that so much hope had been a waste all the while. She remained blissful at school, whereas at home she was breaking down. Some days were joyful. On others, there was only a sunless sky. Exhaustion was a bitter feeling flourishing as desire declined. Time went by. She still had a few jokes to laugh at. But the feeling of self-restraint blossomed too. Sparkling days at school. Profusely unbearable times at home. Or reversed.
Grasping a chapter ending, anxiety stood out, and she completely fell down. The uncertainty of tomorrow coming too fast arose. Her mind would get blurry and gloomy. She was profusely edgy. Her eyes were getting lost in the shades. Only in the blackness of the night, she would found echoes. In despair, she was crying within. No one was hearing her out. She was torn apart. She wanted her weaknesses to be noticed, yet she hid behind a carefree and sparkling spirit as the truth was about to come unveiled. Nobody would see. She was carrying a mask that would never betray her. Untold overwhelming thoughts were lingeringly destroying her. The pages were turning faster than ever.
She was reminiscing about the good and the bad, unaware of the denouement. Her heart was fulfilled with regrets and delusions — but if you dug deeper, underneath lies and tears, hopes and dreams were still lying. It would come to life again at times — as reality and her own mind seemed to be distorting. Behind all her lies was a yelling soul. Behind all her smiles was a deprived mind. Creating worlds where magic would happen and stars would shine; free worlds where love and peace would make all things right, she was writing down her own stories. Somewhere thoughts would be free and enlivening.
In the end, she found somewhere a place to hide. In that book where all was justified she found hope again, and life.