The sunniest and hottest season is coming ; July and August make the perfect time for soothing rests at the beach, spicy cocktails and never-ending parties. Before beginning another academic year, we are offered some time for a little makeover and we should all seize the opportunity. Indeed, summer is also marked by some tricky habits. Long-lasting envious staring at strangers’ ‘bikini bodies’ (the quotation marks underline the absurdity of the expression, according to me), gossiping but most importantly drawing comparisons of ourselves. I am no professional but here’s a list of things I think all girls (and boys!) should stop doing in order to boost our self-esteem and start as a fresh healthy person in September.
1. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
I strongly believe that this is the key element to having self-confidence (by the way, I quite discussed it in one of my previous post Do not kill my self-esteem, mainly dwelling upon the reasons why young people tend to do so). It is a trap we have all fell into at some point. We all come from different backgrounds. We don’t share the same stories, although we can find similarities. We don’t have the same condition. Yet, there’s often a need to point out such differences. However, beauty lies in diversity. Difference is natural. We must accept it. Here is what to ban from our vocabulary :
– Superlative adjectives (“She’s much bigger/thinner/taller/more hardworking than me“) ;
– Nonsense expressions like ‘bikini body‘ (there is no such thing that exists, everybody’s got a body to carry a bikini!!!) ;
– Conversations on other people’s bodies whether it be friends, family or strangers and no matter if it’s a positive or negative observation (‘My body is MY business’, it doesn’t make an interesting or relevant enough topic to discuss).
2. AVOID READING JUDGMENTAL ARTICLES (— or stop following the rules dictated).
If you’re into fashion magazines, skip the articles on do’s and don’ts, especially if you’re influenced by such. Follow your own path, there is no need to be comformist. If you like the skirt described as a hideous old-fashioned piece you should throw out of your closet, just keep wearing it. Do not reduce yourself to rules. When by watching a ranking television program dedicated to recent cinematographic releases, a movie you long-awaited is ranked at the last place, do not hinder yourself from watching it even if the review is utterly negative. All that matters is your own opinion.
3. STOP PULLING YOURSELF DOWN EVEN IN THE MEANINGLESS SITUATION.
Some phrases to slightly change in order to make them positive (for instance, use less powerful words or compare it to quality you have to make it balanced).
– “I suck at singing” → “I’m not good at singing“
– “I wish I could dance“‘ → “I can’t dance, hopefully I can sing“
I might sound insignificant, yet words have plenty of power. We can always make the positive stand out.
4. DELETE ALL UNHEALTHY ‘MOTIVATIONAL’ ACCOUNT FROM YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA.
Anyone spreading a negative image is not worth being followed by you. If it contains comparison pictures of bodies, personalities, just stop following them and follow positive people who don’t need to pull others down to feel good enough. Think positive. Praise instead of drawing pessimistic and gloomy critic of others (and of yourself!).
5. STOP JUDGING OTHERS (AND YOU WILL STOP JUDGING YOURSELF).
When you’ll stop being so hard on others, you’ll stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Of course, there will be times when you will have to be your own judge — in order to evolve, to better yourself and to make choices, but you do not have to constantly question yourself, your actions or your decisions. I think that the less you will try to find the bad in people, the more it will affect you for the better. Nobody’s perfect, and reminding yourself of that will make you accept yourself and others. We live in a united world — everything is linked, especially the image we perceive of ourselves.
These are a few steps to improve self-confidence. Summer is the perfect time to have a little makeover of ourselves, so try and follow these steps. Bury those bad habits and it will increase your self-esteem. Always think positive!